Motherless Soul

Motherless Soul is the story of Emily Vinson, a woman whose entire life was impacted by the loss of her mother when she was 2 years old. At 82 Emily contacts a hypnotist hoping to draw out hidden memories and to discover as much as possible about the short time she spent with the woman who gave her life. Glen Wiley, the hypnotist, teaches her more about herself than she had expected. He helps her bring out memories of many past lives, including an experience that took place on a smoke filled battlefield. All of Emily's lives have had the same tragic outcome, the loss of her mother at a young age. Her soul is caught in what Glen calls circularity, meaning that the tragedy will occur again and again unless she can break the pattern. She and Glen must revisit her past lives and use what they learn to find the other souls who are part of the circle. They must use the past to change the future. Emily's stubborn desire to know her mother is realized in intricate and unsettling ways no one could have imagined possible.

Excerpt (from Chapter Four)
Glen asked her to count backwards from one hundred. When she passed fifty-nine he started to guide her saying, “Go back, back further to a time before you were Emily Vinson. Keep going back.” His words seemed to run right through her body, like a shot of whiskey. Glen seemed to be growing distant, although she knew he was right next to her. She kept counting toward zero, even as he spoke.
Emily lost track of the counting. She was certain she’d repeated some numbers, but she tried to keep them coming. She knew she had to do what Glen told her to do. She closed her eyes. Shortly after that the dim light she could make out through her lids faded into absolute darkness.
“You’re slipping through time and space into a place that’s been buried in your heart for ages upon ages. Something important happened to you in this place. You’re starting to remember what it was like: the smells, the sounds, the texture of the world around you.”
Her eyes started to burn. Memories were flowing into her head after a period of nothingness and those sensations were different from what she’d experienced the day before. This time it was as if she were two people. The person she had been before the session began, the old woman nearing the end of her life, was now watching someone else from inside that other person’s body. The other person was very young, but in trouble.
“Talk to me, Emily. Let me know what you’re feeling.”
Emily started to cry. She wasn’t able to hold back. Her cry was the loud wail of a hungry baby. But Emily knew what she felt wasn’t only hunger. Something was very wrong.
Review: Jen Knox (Author of Musical Chairs)

This is a profound work about the cyclic nature of pain and one woman's desire to confront it and move on. The story begins with Emily's search to demystify the mother she never knew, the figure whom she believes to hold the secret that will break a cycle of discontent. Where this leads her is on a journey of self-discovery that begins with a trip to a hypnotist and introduces Emily to generations past. Emily's journey is filled with realizations that grow exponentially, and ultimately lead to a philosophical and spiritual awakening. This book is phenomenal. The chapters are short and engaging, and the writing is fantastic.
For a video reading of an excerpt go to - Motherless Soul
For more information about Steve Lindahl go to - http://www.stevelindahl.blogspot.com/ or http://www.stevelindahl.com/
To purchase Motherless Soul go to - Amazon, All Things That Matter Press, or Barnes and Noble

Book Review - Musical Chairs

MUSICAL CHAIRS, by Jen Knox, has hit the memoir scene with a splash. The book has many great reviews which point to the great writing style, honesty, courage and inspiration displayed by Jen
Musical Chairs explores one family's history of mental health diagnoses and searches to define the cusp between a '90s working-class childhood and the trouble of adapting to a comfortable life in the suburbs. In order to understand her restlessness, Jennifer reflects on years of strip-dancing, alcoholism, and estrangement. Inspired by the least likely source, the family she left behind, Jennifer struggles towards reconciliation. This story is about identity, class, family ties, and the elusive nature of mental illness.
Excerpt
(Prologue)

Throughout the summer of 2003 I repeatedly underwent what psychologists have since diagnosed as post-traumatic stress and panic disorder. A spiritually-inclined friend refers to the same summer as my rebirthing period. Still others, who claim to have had similar experiences, tell me that such episodes were probably a warning, my body’s way of telling me to adopt healthier eating habits, exercise more or quit smoking. At the time, all I knew was that the onset was swift.

“[Musical Chairs is] well-written, which means Jen Knox knows how to string words together into comprehensible sentences. And her ‘voice’ is honest, unapologetic and – vital! – likeable. In other words, she’s like the Apostle Peter in the Bible. She’s a weak, frail, vulnerable human being, who makes lots of mistakes. Which means – thank God – that she is human. Which means that despite all her flaws and failures, she is not a fraud or a charlatan. She’s not pretending to be someone who has their ‘shit’ together.

Jen and most of her family are gloriously dysfunctional – just like most families. And they have a tendency toward mental illness. And – shockingly – she talks about it. Which is what makes her story and her book so wonderful. It’s downright refreshing to read a book that acknowledges what most people know is true, but are afraid to confess: Most people are one brick short of a load. Which is what makes them and life so interesting.”

To watch the Musical Chairs Trailer, go to Knoxworx Multimedia.
To purchase Musical Chairs, go to Amazon, ATTM Press, or Barnes & Noble.
For more information about Jen, go to http://www.jenknox.com/ or http://jenknox.blogspot.com/
For more information about ATTMP, go to http://www.allthingsthatmatterpress.com/%20or%20http://allthingsthatmatterpress.blogspot.com/
BUY NOW FROM AMAZON AT: http://www.amazon.com/Musical-Chairs-Jen-Knox/dp/0984259422/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268347842&sr=1-1

Losing

I'm 45 years old, in very good shape and lost to a guy in my tennis league who could be old enough to be my father (maybe). I let my ego driven mind get in the way. Instead of just being present to the task at hand, I let thoughts creep into my head like "you can relax a little now, you're ahead" and "how did you blow that lead?" and "I can't believe this guy is on the verge of winning - I'm so much better than he is!" Needless to say, it is hard to achieve peak or even near-peak performance with all of that chatter racing around inside your head.

Peace starts with making peace with yourself. When the match was over, I congratulated my oponent and genuinely told him he played a great match. On my drive home, I thought about how grateful I am to have the ability and fortune to play the game of tennis, and how much I appreciated the fact that my employer can allow me to leave work early like I did today to squeeze this rescheduled league match in. And I repeated a couple of my favorite affirmations including "I love you Scott" and "I approve of you Scott". Feeling at peace with myself, I am able to be at peace with my family, my neighbors and my brothers and sisters around the world.

Hello Again

It’s been a while since I last posted – April of last year to be exact. Things got a little difficult for me and my family as my severance from the job I had been laid off from back in December of 2008 ran out. Unemployment started in April, but in the state of Maine the maximum weekly payout did not come close to paying the bills. My wife Nicole, after many years of being an at-home mom, luckily found a part time job managing a small retail store. Still, we were not paying the bills.
In June, I finally was offered a job and would be working for L.L.Bean (I’m assuming you know who this is). Great company, but entry level job. I went from being a senior director for a midsized company to being a front line supervisor for a large company. But we could now pay the bills! Then a month ago, Nicole lost her job. C’est la vie!

“When life offers you lemons, make lemonade.” I know that is cliché now but it is so relevant to my life right now. In many ways, my family has become much closer as a result of having less. Less dinners out, less downhill skiing, fewer TV channels, less extravagant vacations, fewer trips to the mall, less digital entertainment. Less. Another cliché, “sometimes less is more”. We now have more time to play games such as Pictionary and Rummy 500. We have more appreciation for our strength as a family to get through the tough times, we better recognize our relative wealth still compared to the majority of people in the world. We talk to each other more, and listen more. More.

I have also found more room in my life now to share the lessons I’ve learned and the knowledge I’ve gained in my 45 years of living, and 45 years of searching for answers. Since I graduated from college, I’ve been asking myself “What am I here to do on this Earth?”, “Who am I really?”, “Why is the world such a violent place?”, “Why is there so much sadness and suffering?”, “How do I know I am the best parent I can be?” By no means however am I suggesting I now hold the answers to life’s questions. In fact, I am still in full search mode but I am at the point where I at least know what I don’t know… you know what I mean?

So I am hoping that this blog can serve as an exchange – an experience-based idea exchange of sorts. I’m not talking about looking for ideas on how to solve world hunger, rather I am looking for ideas to help us all live with more peace, love and joy – one individual, and one relationship at a time.

In the mean time, think about this: “The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.”  -  Frederick Buechner